


'Cause When You Fade Away, It's Like A Brand New Doomsday

by BisexualNerd



Series: I've Got You Brother [5]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, I am so sorry for this, I know I said hurt/comfort but it's just there for some moments, I swear I love them all, I've decided my victim to be Dickie this time, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Jason is still dead in here, Sad, Songfic, but I also like hurting them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:42:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24283807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BisexualNerd/pseuds/BisexualNerd
Summary: My take on what was going on with Dick when Jason had died.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne
Series: I've Got You Brother [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687798
Comments: 12
Kudos: 60





	'Cause When You Fade Away, It's Like A Brand New Doomsday

**Author's Note:**

> I'm kinda giving Timmy a break before writing a standalone fic with Bruce and him, so I decided Dick to be my victim this time.
> 
> I said "kinda" 'cause I still mentioned the boy mourning and suffering in here. Tbh, I don't know where the hell Dick was during the Ethiopia thing except he was probably in space so yea.
> 
> I know I said I've exploited too much from Jason's death but this is from Dick's perspective, so it's fine. And I wrote this in one day so it might suck.
> 
> Title is from Doomsday by Architects.

If anyone wants to experience the fic to the fullest, here are two versions of the song.

The original is much heavier and angrier, considering this song was written to address the death of a member of the band who was also the drummer's brother. It is metalcore so there will be rather heavy screaming, listen at your own risk: 

[Architects - "Doomsday"](https://youtu.be/RvWbcK3YQ_o)

This is the piano reprise, which is obviously much sadder and softer:

[Architects - "Doomsday" (Piano Reprise)](https://youtu.be/RgWIeWQoyuI)

I wrote the fic to the original version, but either one will accompany the fic just fine.

* * *

Dick was still on his mission in space when he got Tim's message.

_**Jase's missing. B's looking for him. Come home as soon as you can.** _

It was a short but rather informative message. And as much as he wanted to finish his mission, his brothers had always been his priority.

So just a day after receiving Tim's message, Dick was on his way to go home.

> _Remember when Hell had frozen over?_  
>  _The cold still burns underneath my skin_  
>  _The water is rising all around me_  
>  _And there is nothing left I can give_

Dick remembered holding Tim in his arms as their father returned with their brother's body, lifeless with most of the damage visible.

A crowbar and the Joker.

He remembered his baby brother's scream. He remembered Tim's tears soaking through his shirt and his own running down on his face.

Dick thought he had stopped breathing for a short moment upon seeing what had been done to his brother, _the bruises, the broken bones, the blood_.

Time seemed to stop as well when Tim broke free from his grip and ran to their brother's side, voice hoarse from all the screaming and crying.

Dick moved mindlessly to stand beside Tim, his hand gentle touched the cold skin that had been coated in red blood that once was as warm as the boy's heart. Which, he figured, had stilled long ago.

The cold burned into his own warm hand, leaving a numb sensation in his chest.

He broke down in the shower later that day.

Dick had tried to keep it together for Tim's sake. Except for a few silent tears, he didn't show his grief much.

But as the water fell down on his skin, the numbness in his chest bursted, exploded into pain and he fell to his knees.

_I'm sorry..._

For what? That he couldn't have done anything? 

_...that I didn't do more to help you..._

> _All these tears I've shed_  
>  _I saw the wildfire spread_  
>  _You said you cheated death_  
>  _But Heaven was in my head_

His tears became one with the hot water of the shower and he yanked at his hair roughly to his silent scream.

_It's not fair!_

_Why him?_

Spots flashed behind his close eyelids like the tiny version of the one that had sealed the fate of his brother.

Too many times, Jason had been on the brink of death as Robin, but he had never thought there would be a day death actually come to any of them.

He had thought them Bats were invincible.

He was wrong.

> _They say "the good die young"_  
>  _No use in saying "what is done is done"_  
>  _'Cause it's not enough_  
>  _And when the night gives way_  
>  _It's like a brand new doomsday_

He stood by the close casket as all the pretentious faces of the elite society passed by, expressing their "condolences" and saying that they were sorry for their loss.

Dick, and his family knew most people in the elite society didn't like Jason much. For his background, his attitude and his intelligence which had made a number of rich twats tumbling and fumming over their words.

"He was too good for this world, God would want him up there with him." A man said with such a fake sad look that made Dick want to punch him in the face.

"If that was the reason, then I can clearly see why you are still alive to this day." He replied through gritted teeth. The man's eyes widened in surprise but backing off anyway, muttered a quick _"sorry"._

> _What will be will be_  
>  _Every river flows into the sea, but it's never enough_  
>  _And when the night gives way_  
>  _It's like a brand new doomsday_

Dick threw his tie to the floor, not caring where it ended up. The expensive jacket got tossed aside, landing in a heap. He then flopped down face first on his bed.

He was so tired hearing, seeing, talking to those people. Jason didn't deserve all that fake talk and faker sympathy.

Anger surged up inside him and he flung the pillow across the room, hearing it hitting the wall with a soft "thud". He then pushed the rest of his pillows collection and the cover down to the floor with all his strength.

They easily and quickly fell from his bed.

Dick got angrier. He snatched the lamp from the nightstand and smashed it against the wall. He chucked all the small knickknacks on the desk by the window at their opposite direction and took pleasure in hearing the sound of glass breaking and shattering.

He finally got his hands on his backup escrima sticks and hurled them both at the other side of the room.

He heard his door being opened before the sticks even hit the wall.

"Dick, I..." The soft gasp snapped him out of his anger as the sticks embedded into the wall next to Tim's head.

The boy's eyes blown wide and his body went still.

"Timmy?" He asked carefully, moving closer to check on the boy.

"I...I heard lo...loud noises... Ju...just wanted to...to check..."

_Shit!_

"I'm sorry kiddo." He slowly put his hands on his baby brother's shoulder to see if the kid would react negatively.

Nothing happened except for the bewildered look Tim sent his his way.

"Come here Baby Bird." Tim fell into his arms and stiffed a sob. Dick felt like the worst failure on the whole planet upon hearing it.

Tim didn't stay. After having calmed down, the boy struggled out of his hold, muttered a short _"goodnight"_ and ran back to his room.

Dick was left alone with only the eternal darkness of the night and a broken mess to be his company.

> _No matter what they say_  
>  _It's like a brand new doomsday_

He couldn't sleep that night, tossing and turning on his bed, which was still surrounded by the mess earlier.

He didn't care enough to clean it up.

Soon enough, the morning came, and he pushed himself to get off his bed and go downstairs. Bruce and he had breakfast in silent after the man had brought a plate for Tim, who was still in his room.

> _The embers still glow when I'm sober_  
>  _The gold in the flame burns brighter now_  
>  _I have to rebuild, now it's over_  
>  _Maybe now I'm lost, I can live_

The kid was hurting himself.

Tim broke his left hand and Dick was pretty sure the other hand hadn't been as fine as the kid said.

But he let that slide for now, seeing that they'd got an already too distressed kid to look after.

He carried his little brother to their father's bedroom and carefully put the kid down on the bed. Tim quickly made a nest from the blanket for himself.

Dick then sat at the foot of the bed as the boy ate his soup. His eyes caught the sight of specks of sunlight dancing on the window and sighed softly.

_Why is everything looks so happy?_

_Shouldn't the world be gloomy and sad when someone close to you passed away?_

The brightness of the sunlight reminded him of the fire from what Bruce had told them about Jason's death. From the back of his mind, a raging flame of hell fire took over in his vision, leaving behind burned bodies and glassy blue eyes in its wake.

He was startled out of his spiraling thoughts when Alfred took the tray away. Tim looked a bit better, even with droopy eyes and slouching posture.

The kid must have been tired.

So he scooted closer and gently picked up the damaged hand. He heard Tim's breath hitched and he tried to be even more gentle to the hand.

_Congratulations, you've succeeded in hurting the only brother you have left._

_Hush._

The bandage looked fine and Dick breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Are you two okay over there?" Bruce asked from his work desk.

"Yeah, this is pretty comfy, right kiddo?" Dick ruffled his brother's hair, taking his chance to pull the kid closer and faking a smile.

"Yep. What are you working on?" Tim asked though an adorable yawn.

"Just a small case but it's kind of urgent. I'll join you kids soon." He never stopped working, did he?

He heard Tim mumbling a tiny _"Okay Dad. Love you two."_ before the boy's eyelids shut and his breathing quickly became deeper.

He still had a brother to care for, and he was not letting the kid down this time around. Looking down to the sleeping small figure, he knew if it came to the worst, he would trade his life for Tim's.

> _Souls don't break, they bend_  
>  _But I sometimes forget_  
>  _I have to do this for you_  
>  _And the only way out is through_  
>  _Yeah, death is an open door_

He fell asleep after a few more minutes.

Dick found himself in a grey room, completely bare. He looked around and found a small figure sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"Hey Dickhead."

He didn't run, didn't even react much except stiffening. Jason raised an eyebrow at him.

"Not gonna say something?"

"Jason..."

"Yeaaaa, it's me." Dick gingerly moved closer to the boy.

He didn't look like the the damaged body Dick last saw at the funeral. The teen titled his head and smiled at him. Too soft of a smile to be Jason's.

"You're gonna be there for the kid, right?"

As if he needed a reminder on that.

"Have I ever not been there for him?" He shot back, but without any heat.

"You have. Once. For a while too."

The first few months of Bruce's and his fallout. Dick worried at his lower lip and bowed his head a little. Jason stood up.

"I'm gonna be there for him." Dick promised, looking at those blue eyes.

"Good. Tell the kid I'm sorry." Then the teen turned around and a door appeared.

"Jason!" Dick reached to grab at the boy's shirt but in a millisecond, Jason vanished and all what left was a robin's song in his head.

> _Words the prophets said_  
>  _Still swimming through my head_  
>  _Now there's no stars left in the sky_  
>  _'Cause this well will never run dry_

He knew the risk of a hero's life. He knew they all could get injured, captured, or killed. He knew the consequences the day Bruce pulled him aside and talked to him about it.

"I am gonna be Robin." He had lifted his chin and looked the man directly in the eyes. "I can do it."

"I never say you can't chum. I just want you to know what comes with the type of life I'm leading. You understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes. I still can be Robin right?"

"Of course chum."

Night came again and Dick made his way onto the roof. That one spot he favoured back in his Robin days. He used to hide up here everytime he missed his parents or wanted to avoid Bruce.

There was hardly any star that night. From the manor, they usually had better view of the sky than from inside the city, where smoke and fog always turned the sky into a dark, sad blanket covering over tall buildings.

Dick stared at the perpetual open space, feeling a little melancholy. The feeling engulfed his whole body, making his head fuzzy. 

His eyes felt dry, and his breathes felt forced. Like his body was trying real hard to keep himself alive.

Dick wondered why he wasn't crying like he did when his parents had died.

Or maybe it was just what growing up as a vigilante had done to people.

> _What if I completely forget?_  
>  _What if I never accept?_  
>  _'Cause when you fade away_  
>  _It's like a brand new doomsday_

He saw the battered uniform when he was passing by in the cave. Charred, torn and bloodied.

The beautiful green looked too much like _his hair_ all of the sudden.

The red reminded him of _the blood_ coating his brother's body.

And the yellow of the cape in his hands didn't seem so happy anymore. 

There was a rectangular metal plate next to the suit. It read:

**_Beloved son gone too soon._ **

Handmade by Bruce, probably.

_Gone too soon..._

Dick felt the pain spiked in his chest as he crumpled to the floor, hands fisting the cape into his chest. He let the tears fall freely in the open this time around.

> _They say "the good die young"_  
>  _No use in saying "what is done is done"_  
>  _'Cause it's not enough_  
>  _And when the night gives way_  
>  _It's like a brand new doomsday_

Every newspaper wrote about a young Wayne's death along with sympathetic words towards his family. He threw them all away before Bruce or Tim could see.

Alfred sent a mournful look at his way when he returned to the kitchen. Dick avoided the older man's eyes as he poured himself a glass of water and walked out.

He didn't drink any of the water. He couldn't even remember why he was in the kitchen in the first place.

Dick went back down to the cave. The training dummy stood there, innocently. His hands twitched. He wanted to hit something.

Hurt someone. Hurt _him._

But there hadn't been any sight of the Joker in Gotham for the entire week.

So Dick picked up his sticks and proceeded to hit the dummy without holding back. The poor thing broke after not even five minutes.

> _What will be will be_  
>  _Every river flows into the sea, but it's never enough_  
>  _And when the night gives way_  
>  _It's like a brand new doomsday_

"Timmy." His brother, who was sitting on his bed, turned around, face quizzical. He didn't say another word, only wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. Tim leaned into the embrace, not a protest escape the kid.

Tim's body felt tense and the boy made no effort to hug him back, just burying his face into Dick's chest. He closed his eyes and put his chin on top of the ebony mess of hair.

Tim didn't smell like his usual body wash and shampoo. But it wasn't like Dick could blame him. He didn't even have a mind to care for his body like he always did, much less Tim, who was probably taking Jason's death the hardest.

"Can you stay with me tonight?" His brother asked in the most timid voice. "I don't want to be alone."

"Okay Timmy." Dick replied, feeling the kid curling up in his arms. Tim seemed to have relaxed a little.

"Love you little bro." He whispered into the mop of hair when he felt Tim's breathing evened out.

Bruce checked on them in the morning. He could tell that from the callous hand stroking his hair. Then a kissed being pressed to his temple and most likely another to Tim's.

"I love you. Both of you. So much." 

He let the morning breeze carry the words away, hoping that somehow, he could have told Jason the same thing. And that Jason could have heard him.

Sleep consumed him once more to the sound of his father walking out of the room.

> _No matter what they say_  
>  _It's like a brand new doomsday_

Jason and Dick certainly didn't get along well enough, and Dick was sure their relationship could have gotten worse if it hadn't been for Tim.

But the teen was still his little brother, and his successor at the same time.

And he was lost, stolen from them by the evil and the corrupted of this world.

Dick eyed the glass case containing the suit along with the metal plate, and his chest tightened. His mind wandered to Tim, who still couldn't eat more than a few bites in a meal and couldn't sleep a night without nightmare invading his rest.

A single tear slided down from his right eye as he put his hand on the smooth, cold glass surface.

Dick wasn't sure when his family would recover from this. Could be next month. Could be never. But he was sure it was going to be a long time until he could breathe easily again.

Going back upstairs to his family and leaving the glass case behind, he wondered what he could have done to prevent all those things from happening.

Little did he know, three years later, a beaten up little robin would bring home someone they all thought to have lost.

**End.**

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it didn't suck. Still trying to figure out how to write anyone that is not Tim.
> 
> If you're interested in more angst and fluff with Bruce and Tim, you might want to keep an eye out for my next standalone fic. There's a big chance it's gonna be another songfic. I'm going through a phase XD
> 
> Leave me some love by giving me kudos or comments if you have enjoyed this ❤❤❤
> 
> Finally, I'm now on Tumblr. You can find me at [@bisexualnerd](https://bisexualnerd.tumblr.com/). It'd be lovely to have anyone dropping into my messages or ask box. Or if you need anyone to talk to, don't be afraid to message me. I'd always be happy to help 😃  
> See ya all later <3


End file.
